Lost Without An Income? Read This.

Most men are lost when they hit walls and see no light at the ends of tunnels. It'd happened to a few of my friends and me. At trying times, for e.g., when a man loses a long-standing, good-paying job and has been fruitless in seeking another income avenue, he's bound to be lost. The best gift for such a person would be mentorship, i.e. a guidance on life, on the routes to take, the lanes to explore and the activities one could engage in.

I bumped onto an ol' friend and he's a similar problem as above. I acted as his mentor and advised him on three broad categories of activities. However, prior to any good advice, step zero would always be active listening. The techniques are to listen to the person with neither interruption nor judgement. If you need to punctuate him, it'd be either for clarification or to paraphrase what he'd said. Do not be judgemental, i.e. don't say things like "I think you should ...", "Why didn't you ...", "You're wrong! It should be ..." etc. Comment on obvious sentiments and get the person to tell you more (may not be the truth). The combo of of non-interruption, sans judgement, paraphrasing and the reinforcement of the subject's sentiments would get the person to open up and to tell you the truth. One needs to know the truth as background info, so as to be oriented into the subject's psyche, to advise well.

I actively listened to my friend, assessed his situation and gave him three main advices. The first advice was for him to total his monthly financial obligations so as to derive at a figure. This figure would serve as the initial objective for later activities. The second advice was to find money and it comprises three parts, namely, (1) to be increasingly more fervent in his job search (I mooted making 100 enquiries in a month with the aid of the Internet, newspapers, friends & kins), (2) to learn a new trade or skills (if one's current skill level and trade cannot break one from the vicious cycle of endless work, learn one that can), and in his case, I suggested sales & marketing, and (3) to face the brunt of the new trade and to stay determined for successes i.e. to do sales and close them. The third & last advice was time management. I drilled into him that he now needs to do many things within the same period, and this can only be achieved with an efficient usage of time, down to every waking minute. At a crunch, if rest has to be compromised, be it. He needn't be restricted to the 24-hr day as a benchmark to compartmentalise work & rest. I advised him to do purposeful things until he's really sleepy, sleep lesser hours and continue the fight relentlessly upon wakening. In other words, a normal person's three days could be his two. In addition, I cautioned him on one OB marker, i.e. entertaining friends. I used Maslow's Theory of Needs to briefly explain that while one lacks security needs, one shouldn't commit unnecessary time for the attainment of higher-stratum needs (in his case, friends as social needs).

I was glad my ol' pal felt very much relieved after hearing from me. While I may not be rich enough to bail him out of his predicament, I think I had led him well to self-help.